Where did that month go?

Even if nobody ever reads this, I find it therapeutic to pour out my random thoughts onto a page. (or in this case, onto a screen) I have turned into somewhat of a shut in. I used to love to go places all the time. That all changed when I became pregnant. I did pretty well for most of my pregnancy. Toward the end, I couldn't bear the thought of being anywhere but home. I think working long hours on my feet contributed greatly to that.

It has been 6 weeks since I have given birth and thankfully ended my miserable pregnant days, yet I spend more time at home that I ever have. I like to be on the go. I like to get out and see the world. Even if it means finding an excuse to make a quick trip to the store. Strangely enough, that has been the hardest part of motherhood for me. I have to stay at home all the time now. I don't feel tied down that much, but it is very difficult to go anywhere with a baby. The cold weather makes it worse. I can't take him anywhere because I would be exposing him to any number of things which his immune system is not yet equipped to handle.

You would think that I could get all kinds of projects done. I could be catching up on the never ending pile of laundry. I could be putting a fresh coat of paint on my bedroom which needs it badly. I could work on the scrapbook that I have started and completed a mere 2 pages. I could paint the wooden train I bought for Teagan. I could finish the poem I started writing for my grandma, but am I doing any of this? Of coarse not. So what is my day filled with? Well, I start out by feeding, changing, and burping the baby. Then, I try and get him settled down so I can get something done. I shower, eat breakfast, and if I am lucky I might have time to do my hair before I have to start all over with the feeding, changing and burping of the baby. By this time, it's usually mid afternoon and I am wondering where the morning went and whether or not I will have time to make something for lunch. I don't need to go into detail about what my evenings are like. It's more of the same.

I love being a mother. I know it sounds like I am complaining. I am just constantly surprised by how fast the day flies by and I feel like I get nothing done. I have good intentions, but we all know where that leads. I guess the bottom line is that I can't claim to get nothing done because I am gone all the time. (That was my excuse before.) Now, I get nothing done because babies take up a lot of time, and let's face it, I am not the best at managing it. (When I do get some free time, I waste it on the computer.) So, my good intentions will lead me to hell where I will spend an eternity catching up on laundry and scrap booking.