Did I ever tell you how lucky you are?

This is the title of my favorite Dr. Seuss book and also the subject of my post today. Every now and again my favorite Uncle gets a little down. Although living with a disability is enough to get anyone down, Lynn has never known any different and he certainly has a great life. He is surrounded by people who love him and love to spoil him.

Over the years I have developed a special relationship with Lynn. He has lived with my family for a good portion of my life and when he is distressed, he often turns to me. I am not sure what troubles him, but when he is upset it really gets to him. He worries about all sorts of things and occasionally gets angry about things that never even happened. He has been told many times that these made-up events that trouble him never actually happened.

This approach has been effective in calming him down many times, but has also had an alternate consequence. Since he had been told some of his concerns weren't valid, he stopped voicing his concerns altogether, but still remained visibly upset. I came to realize this a while back and instead tried a different approach. I encourage him to tell me what's on his mind and I try to create an environment where he feels he can voice his frustrations without reproach. The results have been very insightful and have provided priceless opportunities for me to share wonderful conversations with him.

Now, my grandma and mom have certainly given Lynn plenty of opportunity to voice his concerns without reproach, but I am in a unique situation being his niece and not his mother or big sister who have both been caretakers for him. I have never been the one "in charge" of him so that in itself makes me seem less threatening. A little kid that thinks they might be in trouble (even if they aren't) wouldn't go talk about it to the person who supplies the punishment. A less threatening third party would be the clear choice. He has confessed quite a bit to me and despite the fact that I encourage him to tell his mom when he has done something wrong, we have still created a wonderful bond.

Recently, Lynn was feeling pretty down and my mom could tell he needed a little encouragement. She started telling him stories about when he was younger and all the fun they had. She reminded him of several fond memories. This seemed to do the trick. She told him he didn't need to worry about the fact that their dad was gone. (He passed away over 20 years ago and Lynn still has a hard time with his death.) She told him about all the fun things he and his dad did together. Lynn felt better and was genuinely happy.


A few hours later, Lynn decided to run an errand with me and we got in the car and he wanted to make sure I knew he was thinking about the happy times with his dad. I encouraged his positive thinking and reminded him of what a great life his dad had, and how spoiled Lynn is. Lynn loves to be told how spoiled he is. All I said was, "Well Lynn, you certainly have a great life. You're the luckiest son-of-a-gun I know."

The response I got back from him was hilarious. He smiled his wonderfully huge grin and said, "THANK YOU!" He acted as though that was the best thing I could have ever said to him. I have never seen him that excited. I wish I had thought to call him that long ago.